Cause I'm madly in love with you
by Little-Snow-Fox
Summary: Naruto is stuck in a love triangle. Who will Naruto choose? His first time love or His newly found love? {YAOI}
1. Chapter 1

TO EVERYONE WHO HAS ALREADY READ THESE CHAPTERS.  
I'm sorry but I have up dated them because they didn't sound quite right to me.  
I would also like to thank everyone for reading them...I was scared no like would like them but a couple of you have so thank you.  
I'm still new to this, so I'm sorry if it doesn't interest you that much. I hope one day I have what you all like.

~This story will have sexual scenes~  
Thank you and enjoy.  
Little-Snow-Fox

* * *

I remembered the first day I met him. I didn't get why all the girls fussed over him. Sure he had awesome hair and a nice toned figure for a 13-year-old. Sure he always hit his mark when we where training and he was at the top of the class. I heard rumours in class that his whole family was killed by his older brother, so curious I went to check it out. I remember standing at the gates and seeing yellow tape everywhere saying 'Keep out'. But being me, I just ducked under them and walked in. Even though there was no bodes or blood to be seen, the smell still hung in the air. I slowly walked in with my kunai in hand. After making sure the house was clear, I looked around at all the stuff that was on the walls.

"This stuff...this place...It's Sasuke Uchiha's house..." I picked up a photo of his family and cleaned off the dust that was on it. Once it was spotless, I placed it back off the shelf.  
"He's smiling...I have never seen him smile or look happy for a fact." I looked at the picture of him and smiled.  
_It looks like the family I wish I knew._  
"Mr and Mrs Uchiha...umm...I know I'm not good friends with your son. Well I think it's safe to say that he hates me. He hates everyone really...but that's not his fault. Everyone keeps pushing him for his best and he lets them, but that's not a bad thing either. He's really smart, he aces all of his test with out even trying and he is really good at all the fighting skills, hits everything dead on. He is also good at being a leader and following orders...unlike me. But I think that it's because he had a family like you behind him, supporting him all the way, telling him to never give up. I wish I had a family like that...or just a family in general. I've always been jealous of him, but at the same time, I wanted to be his friend. Someone to support him, when he needs to be supported." My eyes started to get blurry and I tried to rubbed them, so I could see but it only made it worse. Hot tears started following down my face.  
"I'm sorry...I can't stop them...Every time I look up and see his smile in this picture, reminds me of what he must be feeling and how lonely he is now. I know, I would feel lonely if I was in his shoes...well more lonely then I do now. I've grown up without any parents or a family, so I'm probably the only person who understands him most now. The only person who gets what it is like to be all alone, while watching everyone smile and laughs with there families...having everyone whisper things behind your back and think you can't hear them. What it's like to have everything in your life turned upside down. To me...he is my best friend...but he just doesn't know it yet..."  
"Are you down crying yet Idiot?" A voice called out. My whole body froze with panic.

_I didn't even realise there was someone standing behind me, let alone in the house. But I checked the house. How? When? Who?_  
"Your really didn't notice I was here? Man you're a bigger loser then I thought!" I know that voice.  
"S-Sasuke?" I turned around to see him leaning on the door frame. I whipped my face clean and looked back at him. His eyes where red and puffy like he had cried. "S-Sorry...I-I..."  
"I heard."  
"W-What?" I was in shook.  
_He heard...HEARD!...Did he hear all of what I said? What do I do? Do I make a run for it? Maybe he is going to beat me up...Because I'm in his house._  
"Damn you're annoying. I can tell what you're thinking by the look on your face." He let out a sigh and turned around. "Follow me." He began to walk off, but then noticed that I didn't move.  
_Do I follow him or just leave?_  
"Hurry up Idiot! You want to be friends right? So this might be your only chance...to convince me."  
"R-Right! Thanks for listening Mr and Mrs Uchiha and sorry if I bored you...I do seem to talk a lot..."  
"You're doing it again...Just say bye and hurry up." I quickly bowed and run towards the Uchiha.

We sat down, Looking out over his family garden.  
_I don't know what to say...This is the first time he has even acknowledged me, instead of just laughing at me._  
"Umm...T-Thanks..."  
"Huh? What?" I was confused and almost jumped up at the sound of his voice.  
"T-Thanks for talking to my parents. I know that they would be grateful for you to take the time to tell them about me...and to hear something else beside...me crying..." I didn't have to look at him to know that he was blushing because he was embarrassed.  
"D-Don't mention it. I just wish, I had a family picture, so I knew what they looked liked." We sat there in silence for a while and then the heavy clouds started to rain. I could hear faint sobs and I knew that he was trying not to cry in front of me. I laid out on the deck behind me and let out a heavy sigh.  
"Hey Sasuke...If it's okay...would you mind telling me...what it was like to have a family?"  
"Huh? Oh right..." He whipped his face on his shirt sleeve and let out a sigh. "I guess..."  
"You don't have to...it's just no one else will talk to me and I don't even know why...and I over heard some teachers talking and they said that our mothers where close when they grew up..."  
"Your thinking that if you find out what my family was like, you would know what yours would be like?"  
"Something like that..." Placing my hands under my head, I looked at him. I Watched as he looked at the rain, falling from the roof.

"My Father was the captain of the Konoha Military Police Force, His name was Fugaku Uchiha. My Mothers name was Mikoto Uchiha. She told me that she named me after the father of the Third Hokage, in hopes that I would grow up to be a great ninja like my namesake. But instead I grew up in my older brothers shadow, Itachi Uchiha. He was known as a prodigy genius, and who's work would further strengthen the bonds between the Town and the Police force. My Father was one of the many who took an active interest in him and neglected me...But Itachi took an interest in me and my progress. He helped me train and even played with me. Even after I enrolled into the Academy, I was still known as his shadow. Despite scoring at the top of the class, I didn't get any recognition from my Father. He always thought that the only reason I was so good, was because of Itachi. I remember talking to my brother out here once and there was something that he told me _"We are brothers. I am the wall you must climb over, so you and I will continue to exist together"_. I can tell that he deeply cared for me and I looked up to him so much. I wanted to be more like him." He let out a sigh and leaned back on his hands.

"After my 7th birthday the relationship between Itachi and my Father deteriorated. After Itachi was questioned by other members of the Police Force, regarding his best friends suicide. Itachi started acting bizarre and distanced himself from everyone. But I didn't notice...my Father finally started paying attention to me. He thought me how to do the Great Uchiha Family Technique. When I first tried to do the technique, Father was disappointed and told me Itachi was able to do it on his first try when he was my age. I was really disappointed after that, but I never gave up. Everyday after I got home, I would go and practice and a week later I asked him to come to the lake with me. I performed the technique and finally received my Fathers personal recognition, and not being compared to Itachi. But following that he told me not to follow in Itachi footsteps." He stopped talking and I opened my eyes and propped myself up on my elbows to look at him. The look on his face, he was lost in his thoughts.

"Itachi killed every member of my family, but spared my life. Saying that I was not worth killing. He told me _"You've always wanted to surpass me. That's why, I'm going to let you live...if you wish to kill me, then hate me, despise me...and by all means flee, cling to your wretched life."_ I told the Police that I blacked out after that..." He turned to face me and we gazed into each other's eyes.  
"S-Sasuke..."  
"I'll tell you something I haven't told anyone..." He looked back out into the rain. "I remembered something..."  
"S-Sasuke, you don't have too..." He shook his head and brought his knees up to his chest.  
"I managed to stand back up and I pursued Itachi. When I caught up to him I knocked off his head band, and I yelled at him. I said some really bad things to him. When I finally stopped, I noticed that he had shed some tears. The last thing I saw, was him picking up his headband. He said something to me, but that's when I passed out. After that I woke up in the hospital. And then the day I returned back to the Academy, I met you, Naruto Uzumaki." He let out a little giggle. "I can't believe you kissed me in class."  
"H-Hey...I-I...That was totally your fault!"  
"You're the idiot who was in front of me." I was hiding a smile that crept on to my face.  
_Even though it wasn't meant to happen, I'm glad it did...in a way it brought us closer..._

"I remember the I first time I looked into your eyes. They were filled with hatred and that it seemed you weren't even looking at me..." I sat up and looked out over the wet yard.  
"I wasn't, that spar we had...I was picturing my brother...but you where to easily beaten to be him. But in all honesty, I'm glad that I'm part of team seven. I'm glad that I have someone who understands me...even just a little and if he is an Idiot." After that night we started hanging out and became good friends...but only when people weren't around.

But everything changed after Orochimaru came into the picture. Something clicked in Sasuke, after he saw Gaara kiss me.  
_I mean it wasn't a kiss kiss...he just kissed my cheek...like in a friendly way_. I didn't really feel him do it.  
Sasuke ran away once he saw what happened, I tried to follow him but he was too fast. He then left us to go to Otogakure, with his uncle Orochimaru. I tried to stop him myself and ended up having a fight with him, but that didn't end well. I'd say we both lost. I lost my best friend and he lost...the only person who can fully understand him...so he lost more.

_Come on Naruto you can't think of this stuff, not when it was over 5-years ago. We are heading to Her place, so be happy. You finally got the girl of your dreams, Sakura Haruno._

I started walking towards her house, taking my next left. I knew her house was the fifth one on the right, number 22. Today is our two-year anniversary. I can't hold back how happy I am about this day. I have everything planed, day out at her favourite theme park, movies, romantic dinner and spending the weekend in a 5 star hotel. I have saved up for months, to make sure I had everything just right, and to make her feel special. Ino and I spent all of yesterday trying to find the flowers she loves the most. Trying to track down the Lisianthus, wasn't easy but we found them.

I waked up to her door and knocked three times, she opened the door.  
"Happy two-year anniversary" I said and held out the flowers. I could tell straight away that she has cried, which made me drop my hands a bit. Her green eyes are all red and puffy, she wasn't wearing any makeup and hair beautiful pink hair, was tide up in a messy bun on top of her head. She was still in her light blue pj's. She pressed herself against the opened door and let me in, I followed her into the lounge room after she closed the door. She took a seat on the couch and gestured for me to do the same.  
"S-Sakura, is something wrong? Why have you have been crying?" Sakura just figured on the couch, she was just sitting there silently thinking. When she finally looked at me, I could see her tears slowly running down her cheeks.

_I wonder how long she has been crying for, Why is she crying in the first place?_  
"Do you love me?" She said in a very small voice, I was shocked at her question.  
"What do you mean 'Do I love you'?"  
"We have been together for two years now...You have never once stated that you love me...I want to know if you love me?"  
"Sakura, I'm sorry...".  
"What am I to you Naruto? Just someone to play with? Someone to use for...for sex?"  
"Sakura...you know I don't think of you like that!" Sakura puts her hands over her face and starts crying harder.

_I don't know what to do. Should I offer her a tissue maybe?_  
I walk over to where she was sitting, I sat beside her and putting my arm around her shoulders to comfort her, but she pushes me away. She forces herself to stop crying and wipes her eyes.  
"I love you...I have always loved you..."  
"Sakura I...I don't understand, why didn't you tell me that not saying it was hurting you this much?"  
"Because you should have known! I love you! Everyone can see how much I love you, even a blind man. Why can't you say it to me?". I sit there not knowing what say or what to do, I just look away from her eyes.

_I care for you deeply Sakura, I don't want to hurt you. It's just, I don't know if I can say 'I love you'...not after what happened all those years ago. I didn't mean to say it that day, but it just slipped out...and I just can't forget about it._  
"Sakura I...Its not that I don't care for you, I do care...I care so much about you. I know you love me..." I stopped as I look back at her. She has a look of pure pain across her face, like I have stabbed her with a red-hot stick in the heart and twisted it while laughing in her face.  
"You don't love me, do you?" She looks at me with fresh tears pouring down her cheeks.  
"Sakura...The truth is...I don't know any more...I don't know anything anymore." I turned and looked at the floor, leaning forward I placed elbows on my knees.

_Today it's going to turn out as I plan, is it?_  
"Naruto it shouldn't be this hard!" She stood up raising her voice as she continued. "If you loved me, you wouldn't look like I just asked you to sacrifice your first-born child".  
_Do I really look like that? _  
"S-Sakura..."  
"Just tell me!"  
"I can't love you the way you want me too, because I know your still not over him!" I bit my tongue at the words I just said.  
_Crap why did I just say that?_  
"I'm so sorry...I never-"  
"But you have feelings for Sasuke as well, don't you?"  
"What are you saying?"  
"Don't play dumb! I saw the way you looked at him, the way you talk about him. The way your face lights up when ever he walked into the room..."  
"S-Sakura...This isn't over the fact that I can't say it...It's about Sasuke...You think I'm in love him?"  
"Are you?"  
I couldn't hold her glare, turning away from her I looked down at the floor.  
_It's wrong with me? He's my best friend! He's like a brother to me! I shouldn't be taking so long to give an answer to a simple question, but if I'm taking this long does that mean..._

"I-I don't know."  
"I don't believe you. I heard you that day you know...when Sasuke left...I was there." I looked up at her, with wide eyes.  
"S-Sakura..."  
"I can't take it anymore...Naruto"  
"S-Sakura don't..." I placed my hand over my heart.  
"I-It's over Naruto. I never want to see you again". She whispers softly through her tears.

_Hearing those words, they hurt me more than I thought they would_.  
"If that's what you want, Sakura?" She nodded "I will leave then...". She looks at me with nothing but pain on her face, grabbing the pillow she hugged it tight.  
"Leave and never come back." She continues to cry, I get up and walk out her front door for the last time, shutting it softly. I just start walking, the $150 flowers that Ino and I looked so hard for, fell from my hands. But I don't care, I just keep walking.

_Where am I walking to? Where am I meant to go? What am I going to do? My chest hurts, but nothing near like I thought it would. All those heartbreak stories I heard from everyone, how they where saying 'It feels like your heart has been ripped out of your chest' It doesn't feel like that. To me, it just feels like someone cut my skin above my heart, but there's no blood, no wound. This feeling is nothing like I felt for him...Sasuke. Did I really love him? If Sakura said I did...does that mean...he was more than just a friend. Maybe I really do. Okay...so I love him, but why him? I know we did something's..._  
My feet came to a stop and I looked up to where I was. In front of me stood a small opening through the trees, walking through I came out facing a green valley with a small stream. Looking further up the steam I could see a waterfall.  
_I haven't been here in years. I never wanted to come back here. It was his and my spot...we came here to get away from everything and everyone. If I remember correctly, he was the one who showed me this spot...the first place he...kissed me...Sasuke kissed me here... _

Leaning on the closet tree, I let out a sigh and looked at the water. The blue sky reflecting off the water, the sun dancing on the little ripple the current made.  
_Sasuke..._  
I look all around, at the waterfall, green fields, tall trees. It is a peaceful place, full of memories.  
"If only I belonged like the flowers do. Flowers to the Grass, Grass to the Dirt, Dirt to the land, land to the Sea, Sea to the World, World to the Sky, Sky to the Universe. Does my life have any meaning?"  
"All life has meaning, you idiot. You just got to find yours." A voice says from behind, I looked over my shoulder. "Mind if I join you?" He was taller than me, maybe 5 foot 8. He was wearing a shiny leather jacket which hang opened and flapped in the breeze, his white shirt drenched with what looked like sweat but could be water, clung to his body. His jeans were torn and had grass stains on them, his hair was black, like a raven. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath in as the wind hit him, and he welcomed it.

"Be my guest." I looked back out towards the valley.  
"Not many know about this place, may I ask how you found it?"  
"I used to come here when I was little, but I stopped." He leant on the tree next to me and looked out, it was silent and you could just hear the sounds of the water and birds.  
"It's every peaceful to look at. To still be able to see beauty like this, in a place like this town. It's just amazing."  
"The town isn't that bad, but it is nice to get away from it all." I looked over at him and stood up off the tree. His hair was blowing in the wind, which made him look even more handsome than he was. The glow of his eyes from the sun reflection, was enough to send my heart racing.  
_What has come over me? Last time I felt like this was...Sasuke..._

"It's really peaceful out here." Taking in a deep breath, the air felt so much cleaner.  
"It just makes you want to let everything go." I understood what he meant, looking at the grass, I just wanted to let myself run wild.  
"I'm glad I came across this place today, I really needed some time to think." A smile came across my face, as I watched two butterflies dance in the air. Closing my eyes, I enjoyed the feeling of the wind on my skin, as I stood to embrace it fully.

"Is me being here...talking to you, making that hard?"  
"Not at all" I opened my eyes and looked at him and sent him a warm smile "I'm enjoying your company. You actually remind me of someone I once knew...he was my best friend."  
"What do you mean 'was'?"  
"Oh...He left ages ago and we haven't spoken since. I mean it's not like I didn't try...I have many letters for him at home, but I didn't have the gust to send them."  
"Why not? He probably would have loved them..."  
"I said something to him...something that changed my life...something that made my world change..."  
"Do you mind telling me? I know I have no right to ask..."  
"I told him, that I loved him..." I placed my hand over my heart and pulled on my shirt.  
"What did he say?"  
"He didn't say anything...he just turned around and hopped into the car and left."  
"Do you regret it?"  
"Huh?"  
"Do you regret saying it?"  
"I...it's not that I do...I just wish he said something besides walking away."  
"That's good" I looked over at him and saw him smiling. "I'm glad..." When he saw me looking at him, he looked away. "I mean...If you regretted it, it might have ended up hurting him when you saw him next."  
"I don't think he will come back...there's nothing here for him. But thanks." Facing towards the water a smiled and took my shirt off. "Don't mind me, It's been a tough day. I feel like going for a quick swim." When I looked over my shoulder at him I smiled. I placed my bag and shirt down next to the tree and walked over to the water's edge. When I turned to face him again to ask him a question our eyes locked, After a while his face went red and he looked away.  
_Even though we just randomly talking, it feels like I have known this guy my whole life._

"Umm...If you want you can join me..." I was knee-deep by now. "It's a bit cold." He didn't say anything instead he just took his shirt off. Looking up at him, my eyes widen and my heart beat quicken. I couldn't speak. I found myself in staring at his hard, lean frame as he stood naked before me from the waist up. I tried to tear my gaze from the outline of his form, but it was no use. The large tribal tattoo that stretched from his left shoulder to below the waistband on both his front and back and down his left arm, was magnificent. Black ink that swirled and curved over his masculine features. Those washboard abs and thick arms, made from years of manual labor...it was like they where calling to me.  
His perfectly tanned skin seemed unreal, the golden brown colour looking so natural it was scary. He seemed perfect in every aspect, and his devilishly handsome features shifted into a knowing grin as he caught me staring. His raven black hair looked almost natural, it sat just below his ears which were pierced. Realising I was still looking at him, I quickly turned away and felt my face go hot.  
"N-Nice tats" I managed to say through my embarrassment.  
_What has gotten over me? He is a male...so why is my heart racing like this...Am I turned on?_

"My I ask, Why you where so down before?" I watched his reflection as he walked into the water. Still finding it hard to look at him, I quickly went underwater and let out a silent scream. Coming back up for air, I shook my hair to get most of the water out. I looked at him when I finished rubbing the water out of my eyes, his whole face was red.  
"Oh that...My girlfriend of two years dumped me today, I just didn't know what to do. I ended up finding my way here and met you, and you put a smile back on my face." I laid back on the water and started floating.

Something shiny caught my eyes and I looked down at my watch.  
"I'm sorry, I must head off now...It was nice talking to you."  
"Yer it was, wasn't it?" I sent him a smile. "Before you go, would you be able to tell me where Unit 16 is? I just moved back and I can't remember this town really well. I finally saved up and got my own place." He stood up and faced me. The water was waist deep and it made him look naked.  
_The way the sun is shining right now...makes him look like angel...it highlights his skin._  
Shaking my head, I looked down at the water.  
"I know what that's like, finally getting your own place. I'm in number 6, I can take you there if you want?".  
"I-I think I'm just going to stay here for a bit longer...the moving truck wont be there till later. I think I'll be able to find it...Thanks anyway." He sent my a smile and we said our goodbyes and I started to walking towards the tree. After I got all my things I waved good-bye and headed back into town.

I felt something behind me and turned around. jumping back from sheer shock, he was right behind me.  
"You dropped this as you walked off, try to be more careful. _Idiot._" He said as he held out his hand.  
"You sound like my old friend..." I looked away and placed my hand over my heart.  
"They must have meant a lot to you."  
"He was like my brother...the only family I knew..." I sent him a smiled and went to grab my wallet, our hands touched sending a electric shock up my arm. The wallet fell to the floor but neither of us dropped our hands.

_In a weird way this is kind of romantic...holding hands out here with beautiful view, while looking into each others eyes. The feeling I'm getting in my hand...I feel like it's meant to be there and his eyes, I could lose myself in them. Wait! What am I saying? He's a guy and so am I! This is wrong, besides that fact...it feels so right. I can't move...No...It's more like I don't want to move...I want to get closer, I want to get to know him, the real him._

Like he could read my mind, he took a step closer and move his hand to get a better grip on mine. Pulling me in, he wrapped one arm behind me. I placed my hand on his chest to steady my balance. Staring into my eyes, I could feel the warmth of his body on mine. I tried to stop my heart from jumping out of my chest, but it was no use and that's when I realised it.  
_His heart is beating crazy under my hand...just like mine, like this is a new feeling to him too._

He pulled me in tighter and started to move his face towards mine. Without thinking I closed my eyes, waiting for the feeling of his lips on mine.  
_I don't know what has come over me, but I want to feel this guy, I want to feel all of him, all over me. I can't help myself. I don't care if it is wrong...I want this. Like I never wanted something in my life. Is this okay though?_

I could feel his warm breath tingle my lips, he was close. His breath smelt like mints and it felt nice on my face. But then, it was like he snapped out of it. He stiffened, which made me open my eyes. I saw him shaking his head, he let go of me and turned around.  
"Sorry...I don't..." He began to say, but I could tell he was having trouble finding the words to say.  
"It's fine" Cutting him off, I bent down and picked my wallet up. "Thanks again." I said and walked off. I wasn't confused about what just happened, I was more happy that it did and that scared me a little.

Walking home I realised I had an extra hop in my step, but then it dawned on me...  
_I'll have to tell Iruka what happened with Sakura and I..._  
All the happiness that I felt before, left my body. I started to walk slower and my feet felt heavier.  
_He made me forget about all this and I'm happy that he did...I don't even know his name! Would he mind if I go over to his place one day? Would it be all right to ask for him to kiss me? Wait! What am I saying? Is it all right for me to feel this way about a guy I just meant? I mean, it's not the first time I had these feeling...I mean the way I felt about Sasuke wasn't normal. He reminds me of Sasuke in so many ways. But I haven't seen him in over 5 years. I wonder what an 19-year old Sasuke looks like?_  
"Sasuke..."I let out another sigh and kept walking.


	2. Chapter 2

"So tell me again Naruto, why couldn't you tell Sakura that you love her? I don't understand. You used to follow her around trying to get her to notice your love for her. So why now? What changed?" I have just spent all morning with Iruka describing why Sakura broke-up with me. I sat at his kitchen table with my head doing loops.  
"I guess it was because I told Sasuke...that I loved him before he left...and I have never forgotten the look on his face...and the way it made me feel..."  
"You mean like a brotherly love?" I just shook my head. I let out a sigh and placed my head in my arms on the table in front of me.  
"I really feel strongly about him...I don't know why I said it, I just did. I wrecked whatever Sasuke and I had by saying that. We haven't spoken to each other since that day...I don't think I could speak to him again."  
_I would love to talk to him again but I'm not sure what to say..._  
"Naruto...Have you tried to talk to him? It's been 5 years, I think that's enough time to get his head around it all." I just shook my head again but it didn't really work, but I didn't care what it looked like. I'm trying not to cry.  
I don't understand why _Sasuke was still a touchy subject to me. Not everyone has realised that every time his name get mentioned I just fully shut down._

"What have I done to deserve a life-like this? First my best friend leaves after we have a big fight and we haven't spoken since, then I finally get the girl of my dreams just to get dumped because I can't tell her that I love her. What am I meant to do? I'm turning 18 in a couple of weeks. Why do I feel this way? Why can't i get over him? I need to change my life...Start over new." I felt Iruka place his hand on my shoulder as he walked towards the kitchen.

"Would you like to take a couple of days off work to get your head straight?"  
"NO! No...I can't...if anything I need more work to help get my mind off everything."  
"If you say so..." He placed a hot cup of tea in front of me. Lifting my head and held the cup in my hands and enjoyed the aroma of lemon green tea.  
_My head has been weird all day, not in thinking but as in being blank. I can't think...more like I don't know what to think or do. If I am to start over...then how? What would I change?_  
"Naruto, How about we go to the park this weekend and get Kakashi to come along...If he isn't busy with work. I can see if I can get him to cook up something..."  
"Do you miss him?"  
"W-What? I mean I do, he's a good friend of mine and we hardly get to hang any more since he joined the ANBU..."  
"A good friend like Sasuke is to me or just a friend?" I could see that the question hit him as a shock, but he thought it over and let out a sigh.  
"Like Sasuke is to you...But don't tell Kakashi that..."  
"Don't tell me what?" Iruka turned on the spot and placed his had over his chest.  
"Kakashi! It's called a door!" I giggled as Kakashi smiled and scratched the back of his head.  
"But Iruka...This is a door."  
"I'm talking about the front door...you know the thing normal people use." Iruka pointed towards the front door but let out a sigh and closed the Glass door behind Kakashi.  
"Yer yer." Kakashi waved him off as he sat across from me at the table. I could tell without looking at him, that he noted that I was running my thumbs over the rim over my cup. "What up Naruto, Why you down in the dumps? Did Sakura dump you or something?" I knew he meant it as a joking way as he didn't know.

"She did actually" I tried hard to not make it sound the way it did, but I guess it couldn't be helped.  
"Oh!...Sorry..." I could see that he felt unconfutable and looked over at Iruka for help.  
"It's fine." I sent a smile towards the both of them but I knew that they could see through the smile so I dropped it. "I know I don't seem like it, but I'll get by, so don't worry too much about me okay. I have been through worse. Please guys, I need you to be happy around me. Couples break-up all the time. Sakura and I just wasn't meant to be." I saw them look at each other then back at me, Kakashi nodded.  
"If you think it will help, I'll act like it's not a big deal." Iruka smiled at me in a way that I couldn't help but smile back, even if it wasn't my usual big smile.  
"Thank you, to both of you. I'm glad I have both of you in my life." Not long after I told Kakashi about what happened with Sakura, so that he was up to date. With him been gone on missions he misses out on so much. I headed to have a shower and get ready for work. I always headed to Iruka's place before work as I always helped him open shop.

I was standing at the back of Iruka's shop 'Nine Tails' having a smoke break. It's been busy tonight and that's the way I like it, keeps me on my feet. I took a draw of my smoke and let it out slowly. I started smoking a year after Sasuke left and it really helped a lot, but I quit smoking when I dated Sakura. Not for the fact that she hated the smell but because I felt like it was time to stop.  
Propping my leg up on the wall behind me I rested my head on the cold bricks and closed my eyes. I needed a day like this to keep me busy, to help me work out everything. How am I going to talk to Sakura again? I mean she is one of my closet friends after all, I can not, not talk to her. We need each other...even if it is only as friends and it's fine because I'm okay with that and I can understand. I wonder if it will be okay if I text her after work? Just to see how she is going and to see if we are still friend.

'BEEP BEEP'

"A text message? From who?" pulling my phone out of my pocket I flipped it open and looked at the name on the screen.  
"Sakura!"

'Naruto, I'm sorry about...everything. I'm not sure how I feel either, I guess...we both haven't gotten over Sasuke, even though it has been so long. You are a really good friend of mine and I don't want to lose you as a friend. So what I'm really trying to say or ask is...Are we still going to be friends? I know we have been through a lot...and I know about what you had planed to do this weekend...Ino told me...after I called her in tears. I hope you don't mind. She said that she will tell everyone so it doesn't hurt you...even though everyone knows you're stronger than that. Any way you probably wont get this until you're on your work break, so sorry for wasting it on this super long message. I hope that this hasn't been to hard on you or your work. Sorry again, Love Sakura.'

I reread the message over again before hitting the reply button.

'Hey Sakura, are you a mind reader or something? I was just thinking about texting you to see if we where still going to be friends. haha. I hope you're feeling better now though...you never did tell me why you where crying and I hope one day you will be able to tell me but in your own time okay. About Ino, that's fine. I was talking about telling her and everyone when I was talking with Iruka before I started to work. Did you know Kakashi is back? He will be in town for 4 days untill he has to head back out again and Iruka said something about having a picnic and making him cook, if you would like you should come along. I know he would love to here what's been happening while he has been away. I'm on my break now so I can talk for a bit before I go back in. Oh by the way, this does mean we are friends. I don't think a break-up can really pull us a part. Don't be sorry kay or feel bad...some things just happen which we can't control, so don't be so hard on yourself. Naruto :P'

I sent the message and finished my smoke with a smile on my face. I sat outside with a smile on my face texting Sakura. It felt like things where meant to be this way.

"Hey Naruto? There you are!" I looked up from my phone with a grin and saw a red-head staring at me. His Jayde Green eyes looking right at me with confusion. "For someone who got dumped yesterday...you seem too happy..."  
"Oh hey Gaara, Sakura and I have worked everything out and we are talking again. We both agreed that we need each other as friends and that's how it will stay. It feels like it was meant to be this way all along." I sent him a smile and I saw a slight smile pull at the corner of his lips. Ever since I met Gaara at our ANBU training day, I have slowly been getting him to open up to me. I have started to tell and make since of all his little twitches and eye jesters he makes that no one else can see. Lately I have noticed that he has smiled more.

"I haven't seen you smile like that in a long time, I'm glad to see the old Naruto back finally." He gave me another soft smile before turning back around and walking off.  
"Hey Gaara!" I called out after him and pushed myself off the wall and walked over to him. He stopped and looked over his shoulder.  
"Just guessing...but didn't you come out here to tell my something?"  
"Oh said hurry up your break ended 15 minutes ago."  
"What?!" I looked at my phone. "Shit! I'll be right in, Tell Iruka that I didn't mean too."  
"He said it was fine, we aren't busy at the moment so he said you can stay out here a bit longer and I can come and get you when we pick back up."  
"It's fine, I got some things to clean and prepare some more ingredients for the food. I'll just let Sakura know that I have to go back to work and I'll be in soon."  
He looked me up and down with a quick motion of his eyes and smiled again before nodding and headed back again. I sent a quick message letting Sakura knew I would talk to her after work and headed back inside.

"Order up! One Uzi special." Ino called after ringing the bell. I was hard at work making over 5 full meals every 6 minutes. I am known as the best chef in Konoha by far, after studding under Teuchi and his daughter Ayame for about a year, I managed to make my own special recipe. Iruka then put me on cooking duty after I made him a bowl. I was the bus boy when I started here and after Gaara moved in I got him a job here as my apprentice. I'm glad with how far Gaara and I have come, how far our friendship has grown, I get to see the real him when no one else doesn't.

Before I knew it the night has ended and everyone was cleaning up shop. I had just finished putting the last pot on the shelf.  
"Okay now all I have left to do is the floor-"  
"Naruto!" I turned to see Iruka waving at me from his office door. I untied my apron and hang it up and made my way over the Iruka's office. Even though he called me over I still knocked on the door before I entered. The aroma of earl tea filled my nose as I walked in. "Naruto, Please sit down." He pointed at some olden style chairs in front of his desk. "You have honey with your tea right?"  
"Yer, that's right. Honey with earl grey." I was looking around the place as he made the tea. "I have noticed you have changed a few things since I have been in here." His office wasn't really anything to look at. Cream walls, big black desk in the middle of the room, A row of book-case lined the wall be hide the desk showing off all the Awards this Restaurant his won in the past. Photo's of the team at last years Christmas party. Even some of his Teaching books are in here for the school. My eyes darted across his desk where I saw a hand-made cup made be one of his students.  
"Yer I thought I might tidy the place up a bit..."  
"Kakashi stopped by didn't he?"  
"I-I...Yer. Here is your tea Naruto."  
"Thanks." Blowing on the top of the tea to cool it down and took a sip, the taste of honey mixed with the earl grey tea danced on my tongue and down my throat. I relaxed further into the chair and continued drinking.

"Gaara informed me of to things today and I just want to know if understand them correctly. One is that you and Sakura are friends again?"  
"Yer that's right. I was thinking about contacting her after work to sort things out, but you know her, always like to get straight into things. She sent me a message when I was on my break. At first I was shocked and didn't know how to react and then I remembered that we had been friends for years and many things gotten in our way before, I sent back a reply and it seemed like nothing had changed between us...that us dating was just a trail and error...and we both agreed that for our friendship in the future we don't dwell in the past."  
"Sounds like her. He also said something about the old Naruto being back? Do you know what he meant by that?"  
"All I know is that when he saw my smiling like an idiot, he said '_I haven't seen you smile like that in a long time, I'm glad to see the old Naruto's back finally.'_ I didn't fully understand him but it still put a smile on both our faces." I finished my tea and place the cup on the table.  
"When did you grow up to be...like this? At first I was against you moving out at 15 and getting your own place, even though you worked here and got a steady pay. I felt heart-broken. But then you got into ABNU training Academy with Sakura and you saw most of your class there as well. When I heard that you where going to let Gaara move in with you, I honestly didn't think it was going to work out. A loud mouth and a shy kid with a mean death stare could become such good friends...who would have thought. And on top of that even though you had hardly any free time left to yourself and still went off and studied under Teuchi and his daughter Ayame for a year and then coming back and making head chef. But not only that You got Gaara a job and he has really began to change and open up more because of you. The selfish little brat that tried his hardest to get under everyone's skin has grown up to be a respectable young adult. I'm proud of you for that Naruto and so is Kakashi."  
"I don't know what to say old man..."  
"Hey! I'm not that old! besides Kakashi is older than me." We both started Laughing. It's been so long since I have felt this bond between Iruka and I. He was the one who took me off the streets, who raised me as his own, the one who I hated most because he was so kind...the one I wanted to surpass and I think it's safe to say that I almost have. I smiled at Iruka and it felt like I haven't smiled like that in ages.  
"Ha! Will you look at that! I now understand what Gaara meant by the old Naruto has returned." He sent me a warm smile that made me blush.

"Oh! Before I forget once you have finished up here do you think you can deliver this to Jiraiya on your way home? I know I'm making you take the long way home but I thought it would be good for you to go see him."  
"Yer sure, I haven't seen the Pervy Sage since I became head chef here. That doesn't sound like a problem at all!. I'll be done soon anyway."  
"Thanks Naruto." Once my area was done I helped out the others a little longer before I checked out.  
"Good night guys, I'm off." I waved to everyone, as I left the store and headed to the Pervy sage's place.

"As it so happens to turn out he isn't home. Probably doing some more research for his next book." I placed the delivery hot box down at the front door and left a note.  
'Next time when you order something, be home to receive it Pervy Sage. I was really looking forward to seeing you again. Looks like it will be your shout for lunch one day. Please return the hot box once you have finished with it. Naruto.'

Adjusting my bag strap I continued to make my way back home. A warm breeze blew across the night carrying the sent of the ocean and the forest. I felt it brush across my face and I closed my eyes for a moment, enjoying the moving air. We have been having some hot weather lately that has made everyone irritable. Even the nights have been overly warm and uncomfortable. I want nothing more then to have a cold shower and sleep.

Walking down the streets I could see lost of couples out, holding hands, kissing under the moon light and having dinner. I sighed as I kept walking past all the shops, The truth is even though I'm fine with going back to the way thing where between me and Sakura, there is still a part of me that wants more, in a way. Turning down my street the red full moon was right in front of me, leading the way home. I read somewhere that this was called a 'Blood Moon'. When I realised I had stop walking to look at the moon, I looked around and saw that I was sending in front of number 16. A small smile pulled at my lips as I thought about that guy from the waterfall.

_I wonder what he would be doing now? I know he lives here and I find myself stopping here almost every night I make after hour deliveries for work. It's not often that I get to see him and I always cherish the time we spend together._  
My smile widened and I felt a surge of warmth come over me that had nothing to do with the weather and I sighed quietly.  
H_e still hasn't left my mind once. I'll never have the courage to knock on his door. _

Once I got home I noticed that Gaara's bedroom light was still on as I walked up to the front door, unlocking it I called out.  
"Gaara I'm home, Do you want to order something for dinner?" Silence ran through the house, Not even an echo replied to me.  
"Gaara?" I dropped my bag down at the door and took off my coat and shoes. Making my way up the stairs, I saw that the bedroom door wasn't closed all the way.  
"Gaara, did you hear me?" Opening the door slowly, I saw him slumped over his desk.  
"I guess he must have studied while he waited for me." Packing up his books, I noticed that he was laying on a book I have never seen before, slowly moving it out from under him, I picked it up. Just when I was about to close the book, I read my name.

'Naruto...'

"Why is my name is this book?" I opened it back up and read the sentence.  
'Naruto is working late again tonight, he works himself to hard sometimes. I know he still hurts from Sasuke and now Sakura, but he has worked more shifts...'

_I should stop reading this, as it's his journal...but he never says what's on his mind, like me. I know there something he has been meaning to tell me, but he hasn't_.

Dear Journal,  
Another sleepless night. Naruto is working late again tonight, he works himself to hard sometimes. I know he still hurts from Sasuke and now Sakura, but he has worked more shifts...I just wish he would rely on me more. He already went to work this morning, by the time I got out of the shower...I found a note he wrote saying 'Don't study to hard' on my desk. How does he do it? He studies for ABNU after working all day in a busy kitchen, he hardly has time to sleep anymore. I'm going to start picking up around here, since he left without taking anything out for dinner, I'll make it and surprise him.

I couldn't stop, flipping a page back and read another one.

'Dear journal,  
I had that same dream again last night, the one where I die by getting hit by the semi truck...I have been to see the shrink but she doesn't think anything of it. Man why can't I just tell him how I feel? I lay awake at night just thinking of ways to get to sleep next to him, to hold him or for him to hold me. The night he came back from Sakura's place and found me crying when he work up, I think he thought I was crying over them because I was so close to both of them. The hug that I received from him, that simple little hug...sent my heart racing...I know he will never look at me or think of me in any other way than his house mate and it hurts, I mean really hurts. How can I be in love with him? How can I have these feelings for him? How can he not tell?

Tears started to fill my eyes, but I fought them back. I turned back to the day that Sakura and I broke up.

Dear journal,  
Today Naruto left early to go get the flowers we spent the day before finding to give to Sakura, she is one lucky girl to have him care for her like he does...

Dear journal,  
It didn't work out the way we planned. She ended up breaking up with him because he still can't say 'I love you' I don't blame him though, after what happened. To see him in that much pain hurt me just watching him. But I don't think he really did love her or even had that strong of a feeling for her...I know he will one day open up to someone...I just hope it's soon. As much as I have all these feelings for him, I just want him to be happy...and to be selfish...I want him to be happy with me. Am I an idiot for falling in love with him? He's my best friend and I love him so much that my heart hurts...He has no idea what he does to me. All I want to do is scream and cry, this war inside my body...My heart and brain has been at it for two weeks now. My brain says I should come straight out with it, but my heart wont be able to deal with the rejection. What am I going to do? How am I meant to stop these feeling? I tried, trust me I have tried. But every little thing he does sends my heart racing, even if he doesn't mean to do it. How can I just walk away from someone who does this to me? How much longer can I hold myself back? How much more strain can I put my heart through, before it walks out on me? So many feelings...I...I can't take it any more...I think...I'm going to cry...

I read a couple more pages before I put the book back on his desk and walked out of his room quietly. I walked to my room and straight to the shower, once undressed and the water ran over my body and mind went racing.  
_There all about me...I couldn't...How could I be such an idiot? I have been forced on that guy lately, I haven't even seen Gaara's pain...How could I hurt him like this? I didn't mean too, I like him...I really do...and not just as a friend...I like him more than that. I'm I a bad person, for not realising the person who lives with me, feelings? How do I make it up to him? How do I tell him, that I have the same feelings? Should I just come straight out with it?_


	3. Chapter 3

My eyes darted open, still in a haze I slowly lifted my head and whipped the sweat off my face with the back of my hand. Rubbing my eyes I could finally focus and looked around trying to take in my surroundings. I was sitting at my desk, all my books and paper work was in a mess, my guess would be from when I was sleeping. I opened my mouth to let out a sigh but my throat felt raw and swallowing was painful. Reaching for the water bottle I had earlier, which would now be room temperature. I took a big sip, the feeling of the water soothed the swollen burn of it. Placing my bottle back on my desk I saw a flicker of something in the corner of my eye, My body tensed up. I looked over to where I saw the flicker letting out a sigh with my body, the corner of my mouth tilted into a smirk when I realised it was just the curtain blowing in the breeze. When the curtain moved again I realised that it was now dark outside.  
_I wonder how long I have been asleep for? I don't remember falling asleep, I remember..._

My memories were a hazy muddle of confusion that kept slipping through my grasp. But after a few moments of excruciating effort, they all came flooding back at once. My body reacted convulsively as my head swam with a wave of dizziness. I leaned suddenly over the bin and dry heaved. There wasn't much more in my stomach besides the sip of water I'd just taken and the bile burned the back of my throat. Taking deep breath I tried to steady my nerves, feeling the wind hit my skin it was a lot colder than it was meant to be, due to the sweat that still sits on my skin. I welcomed the breeze and I felt my body relax just the slightest bit.

_I can recall this happening many times throughout my life but it was something that might only occur a handful of times in a year. During the last month it has happened almost every night and sometimes multiple times in a night. Last night I awoke this way three times. During one of them I jumped with such force I damn near came off the bed and in doing so I pulled a muscle in my neck. Needless to say, this is becoming quite an annoyance._

Leaning back against the chair I placed my hands behind my head and closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath. Tilting my head back I let out that breath slowly, feeling my body slowly sink into the chair further. The genital sound of the ticking clock caught my ears and opening my eyes I looked over towards where it was hanging on the wall.

"9:30pm, He will be home soon. OW!" Pain shot though my neck. "Teach me for falling asleep at my desk again." After rubbing the pain away, I stretched out in my chair and stared at the pile of work in front of me.  
_If I keep falling asleep I'll never get any of this done._

"You know looking at it, wont make it do itself."  
Jumping back from the desk with surprised I turned and sure Gaara standing in the door way. It's been over 3 years since Gaara and I became house mates. Since we both go to the same school and he had a long commute to take every day, I thought it would be a great Idea from him to live with me since I had two spare rooms. His siblings agreed that it would be better for him and he ended up moving in, which is great as a big empty house is really quite lonely. I noticed he had a cheeky grin on his face, I watched as his green eyes looked over my desk and back at me.  
"Stop grinning at me like you caught me touching myself, remember I was the one who caught you." His smile disappeared and his face turned away as it slowly grew redder. He stood in my door way in silence for a bit longer and I turned around to try a get stuck into it again. I let out a nothing sigh as I read over the Question for the like 10,000th time.  
"You fell asleep at your desk again didn't you?" His voice was loud and I knew he was there but it still made me jump. I turned to face him again and met his eyes.  
"It's not like that...Y-yer I did."  
I watched as his whole body let out a sigh and he walked towards the desk, grabbing a book he headed over to the bed and sat on the corner. propping on leg up on the wooden frame of the bed he placed his elbow on his knee and bit his thumb nail while reading the book. I found myself staring at him, another little jester he only does around me that he hasn't picked up on yet. It's a good thing that he can be myself around me, I enjoy it. I shook my head and looked back towards my desk.

"Okay, so where are you up to?"  
"What? Are you going to help me?"  
"Don't see why not" He stood up and walked back over to me placing the book back on the test and leaning over my shoulder to get a look at my work sheet.  
"B-but you never help me..." I was shocked. Is this the same Gaara who finish all his work and then doesn't even try to help me?  
"Hey I'm in the mood to help, But if you don't want me to then..."  
"No! No...I could really use the help. I'm not smart at this..."  
_I remember the first time after he finished moving in that I tried to have a conversation with him. Didn't go down so well, it was manly me talking with him nodding every now and then and say two or three words...now I can't seem to shut him up, but his family is happy about that._

"Obviously...It's not food. You where never good at anything to do with books."  
"Yer. I don't have that type of brain power like you do. MR I CAN DO EVERYTHING"  
"What can I say I'm awesome!"  
"God you're up yourself" I turned to look at him and the smile slowly disappeared from my face.  
_I didn't realise he was so close. I can feel my heart beat starting to race. _  
"Hey! you're the one who said it! Now show me where you are stuck at or I'll walk away." He said as he chuckled. Turning to face me he smiled at me.  
"Now Princess, Before I change my mind."  
Swallowing hard I turned away from him and pulled the work sheet closer to me and pointed to a question. For some reason I can't bring myself to talk.

"Okay, first off. The answer to this isn't on this page, it's on page...53..." He flipped through the book and put it back down on the desk. "Here, then from there...Pencil?"  
I looked around my desk and put a pencil in his hand. Watching him scribble a couple of things down on my book, he leaned back over me and grabbed the worksheet and read over it again. I was staring at his profile while he chewed on the end of the pencil. His hair has gotten longer, his fringe is now sitting on his eyes and moves every time he blinks. Slowly my eyes wandered down his face and stopped at his lip, Watching him chew and suck on the pencil. Before I knew it I found myself licking my lips.  
_What's gotten into me? Why is it hard to breath all of a sudden? Is it hot in here or just me? Why can't I stop looking at his lips? What I would do if I was that pencil right now..."_  
Swallowing hard again I continued staring.  
"If you look here, you can see..."  
_The way they move...I wonder what they feel like? Would they be as wet and soft like they look? Would it be a quick kiss or a long one? I'm really jealous of that pencil._

"Naruto? Princess? Hey! Don't space out on me! I'm helping you remember!" I watched him take the pencil out of his mouth and place that hand on my shoulder.  
"Princess! Come back to reality!"  
I follow his arm from my shoulder with my eyes until I was looking at his. Lowering my eyes I could see his lips moving but I couldn't hear the words his was saying. Placing one of my hands on his shoulder, he stopped talking and just kept looking at me. Staring at his lips, I watched them part slightly. I could see where the pencil had sat as it tinted his bottom lip slightly redder. Sliding my hand up his shoulder to his neck, I felt his soft red hair run trough my fingers. He licked his lips in a nervous manner and I saw a slight tremble in his bottom lip. Snapping out of what ever I was under, I moved away from him with wide eyes.  
_I didn't realise that I moved closer to him_.  
Slowly I let my hand fall down from him and looked away.  
_What the hell was that? Was I about to kiss him?_  
Shaking my head I tried to forget what I just 'tried' to do. Placing my head in my hands I looked down at the desk.  
_What was I thinking? No, that's just it! I wasn't thinking, I was just doing. But doing what? Was I really going to kiss him? Why? Why would I do something like that? It's not like I have feelings for him or anything...right? Do I?_  
Feeling his hand touch my shoulder made me jump and I looked at him. I can feel my heart beating even faster now as I watch him slowly pull his hand away from me and the look of hurt on his face.  
_I know that look...Sasuke had that look when I told him 'that'...Sakura had that look when I told her that I couldn't love her the way she wanted me too. It's like that look is controlling my life. I just want it to go away!_

"Sorry...Nar-Mmm"  
Before I realised what I was doing, I pulled him towards me by the shirt and kissed him. The lips I was dying to feel on mine, are now there...  
_Wait! He's kissing me back. Why? Why would he kiss my back? _  
Pulling away slightly, I tried to end the kiss but Gaara moved forward pressing his body against mine, stealing my lips and kissing me harder.  
_He is...He's kissing me. _  
I pushing against his chest, I pulled away from him again and I could feel my face turning red. I looked down, I knew that there was no way I could look up at him, not after...'that'. Letting go of him I sat back down, he didn't move at first but when he did he moved slowly and sat back on the bed.  
_Did that really just happen? I lost control of myself and I...I...I kissed him._  
Slowly I looked up at him and I could see that he was in shock but he was also blushing.  
"S-sorry..." I said and I got up and started walking over to the bathroom door.  
_What was I thinking? Why did I just do that? Why did he kiss me back? How could I do that? I'm an idiot! There must be something wrong his me...to do something like that with him. I KISSED HIM! Am I crazy? I must be if I just kissed a guy. IDIOT!_

"Naruto..." He grabbed my arm and stopped me before I opened the door. "Was I really that bad?"  
"Just forget it ever happened...It was a mistake...It wasn't meant to happen..."  
"But it did!"  
"I SAID FORGET ABOUT IT!" I pulled my arm out of his grip and walked through the door and slammed it in his face. Locking the door I placed my head on the door, my vision was going blurry. Turning around I slid down the door and landed on the floor.

"Naruto look, I..."  
"Just leave me alone! I feel bad enough as it is. I don't need you talking about it...saying that's it's okay that it happened...but it's not...it's not okay. I-I'm s-sorry" I couldn't hold back the tears any longer.  
"I'm not mad about it happening! And I'm not going to forget about it...not like I can anyway. That was my first kiss. Naruto I..." I heard him let out a sigh and he banged the door. "Just don't take it out on yourself okay! I kissed you back! Just remember that..." His voice was less then a whisper in the end but I still heard him.  
_What does he mean by that? I just kissed him, why isn't he mad? What's wrong with me?_  
I dropped my head into my arms as I hugged my legs.  
_I kissed him and...and...I...I enjoyed it. I enjoyed kissing him..._  
Grabbing myself tighter I sat there crying, confused about what happened and this feeling that's spread across my body.

I don't know how long I sat there crying but I slowly lifted my head up and whipped my face. Letting out a sigh I stretched my legs out. Slowly I ran my fingers over my lips and felt myself blush.  
_I can still feel his lips on mine_.  
I smiled to myself  
_But this is wrong...this feeling...it's wrong to have...in so many ways. But I-I want to do it again._  
"Would he let me kiss him again?"  
"Naruto?" A soft voice came from the other side of the door. Putting my hands over my mouth I held my breath.  
_Did he hear that?_  
"What do you want for dinner?"  
"Dinner?"  
"Yer, you know food, the thing we put in our m_outh..._"  
His voice trailed off. slowly I got off the floor and unlocked the door. Pulling it opened I looked into his eyes and he blushed and locked away biting his lips.  
_Shit!_

Seeing him blush and biting his lip, I felt my pants tighten slightly. Looking down quickly I hid my face as well.  
_Simple things like him biting his lip can send my pulse sky rocketing through the roof. Then it must mean I really do like him...a lot. But I kind of know for a while...it's just never been this clear. When I look back on it now that first time I felt like this was when I walked in on him masturbating. But I thought nothing of it at the time...until it was all I thought about and the only thing that got me hard. Wait! I can't think about that now, or it will happen now...and I'm very close as it is._  
Looking back at him I bit my lip and moved forward to close the door behind me. We where so close now I could see his chest raising and falling faster and faster, slowly my eyes started wondering down his body again. Closing my eyes tight I rested my head on the door behind me and looked up at the roof.  
_If this is happening to me...by the signs he is showing...is it also happening to him?_  
"P-pizza...I'll order pizza, It is my night to cook and all and I'm not in the mood to do that...cook I mean." Holding my breath again I closed my eyes.  
_Did I really just say that I was in the mood for sex? IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT!_  
"O-okay"  
We stood there for a couple of minutes without talking or looking at each other. Slowly I pushed myself off the door and walked past him, brushing hands. He grabbed my hand before I could take another step.  
"Do you really regret it?" He caught me off guard and I Swallowed hard again.  
_Do I regret it? I mean, I enjoyed it and I want to do it again...so that means I don't right?_  
I continued walking and my hand slowly slid out of his.

The 3 large pizza's were gone in about half an hour, for skinny people like us we can eat a lot and not gane a thing. We didn't talk much through dinner and there wasn't anything on t.v that I wanted to watch so I headed back to my room to try to finish my studies. I tried hard to focus on my text books but I couldn't no matter how hard I tried. Letting out a sigh I started scribbling somethings down in my note-book. When I realised what it said I just sat there looking at it and not moving, besides my hand holding the pen had a slight trimmer. I found myself breathing heavily and in a very fast manner.  
O_kay there's nothing wrong with liking a guy, I have come to terms with liking Sasuke...even though it's more then that really. I know I need to move on from him, but is this really that right way? It's only been 5 days since Sakura and I broke-up...isn't this to soon? Could I have the same feelings for Gaara as I do Sasuke?_  
Swiping my hand across my desk, I knocked everything on to the floor. Banging my elbows on the desk a ran my fingers through my hair, balling my fits.  
_It can't be true...I can't have...not so easily...there's no way...I..._  
"Naruto? Is everything okay in there? I heard a loud noise."  
_Shit! I don't know how much more I can hold myself back_  
"Naruto? Are you okay?" He knocked on my door.  
_What am I going to do?_  
"Naruto?"  
_I can't keep doing this...I cant sit here and do nothing!_  
"Naruto...im coming in okay?"  
Slowly the door opened, I couldn't see the look on his face. I was rocking myself back and forth on my elbows with and eyes clenched shut. I could taste blood im my mouth letting me know I have bitten to hard on my bottom lip. A light touch on my shoulder made me jolt up, scaring the both of us. Looking around I noticed where I was. My eyes finally landed on Gaara's as he stood there wide-eyed, looking, like he wanted to touch me but wasn't sure if I would hit his hand away or not. To be honest, I didn't know either. Letting out a sigh he pulled something out of his pockets and moved closer to me. Seeing the slight corners of his mouth rise, he lifted his hands up, one cupping under my chin and the other running a white fabric over my bottom lip and slightly above my chin.

"I haven't seen you like this, since...Sasuke...You must of really liked him. I remember all the crazy things the two of you got up to. The tricks you played on Kakashi." He smiled as he remembered it. Running his thumb over my lips, they parted slightly. I watched as he moved himself closer, drawing my face up towards his...I closed my eyes tightly and I felt his breath on my lips. My body flinched at the sensation and I closed my eyes even tighter as I waited for the kiss...that never came. I felt...nothing...his warmth was no longer around me any more. I opened one eye to see what was going on, I saw that he was now sitting on the bed looking at the ground, both arms draped over his knees as his body was hunched over.  
"Sorry...I wasn't thinking..." His voice was barely a whisper as he spoke and trailed off. Opening my eyes and let out a breath that I don't know I was holding. Looking down at the floor I looked at the mess I made. My eyes stopped at an open book.

I still can't forget the feeling of his touch on my body or the feel of his lips...

_WAIT! That's what I just wrote down!_

My heart nearly jumped out of my body. There laying less than 6 inches from his foot was my note-book. Jumping to my feet, I quickly picked it up and started cleaning up everything else once I made sure he didn't see what was on the open page, laying in plan sight. Once the floor was cleaned and everything was put away where it was meant to be, I walked over towards him and placed my hand on, his shoulder. This time he jumped and it made me smile.  
"Come on, its your turn to pick a movie for movie night."  
I sent a smile his way before I turned and headed for the door but I stopped. Placing my hand on the door frame I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath.  
_If I ever was going to tell him or answer his question properly then it would have to be now. But in saying this doesn't that mean I'm admitting that I like him? Who cares I have to say it._

"I don't regret it" I turn to look at him, which was a big mistake. I looked to the floor straight away and felt my face get hotter.  
"What-?" I continued cutting him off. If he spoke now them I'll never be able to finish what I am saying.  
"I don't regret the kiss...that we sheared...I" I stopped myself from finishing the sentence and turned around and walked off.


	4. Chapter 4

It's been four days since that kiss happened. Over those four days I have been on a training camp for ANBU, which involved lot of Practice missions, Agility test, Information gathering and fighting skills. At the start of the first day they put us all in teams, Sukura and myself got split up and I don't recall seeing Gaara either. Today is Sunday, I have no work, No training or studying. Just a day to lay in bed and relax...I wish. If I sleep in or lazy about, my whole body clock goes out of whack. Pulling off my blankets I got out of bed, even though my body is awake my mind is still asleep. Walking over to the window, I stumbled over my clothes I took off yesterday. The sun was playing on the horizon, slowly lighting the sky and everything else in its path. I lent against the window sill as I looked out over the town. I have the best view in this house of the town and sunrise, Gaara has the view of the sun set. Looking over at the mountains that hide Suna, I watched the sun enter the sky and I welcomed its warmth. grabbing my towel off the back of my chair, I headed to the bathroom.

After washing my hair, I remembered that this will be the first time seeing him since the kiss. I had a million things run through my head.  
'_What if he doesn't talk to me? What if he doesn't like me any more? What if he regrets kissing me?'_  
Since my time away from him, I excepted that I truly liked him and that I wanted to give 'Us' a shot. Wrapping the towel around my waist, I walked over to the mirror. Whipping the steam of the glass I looked at my hair sticking to my face.  
"I'll need a hair-cut soon my fringe is getting to long, it's starting to touch...my scars." Running my fingers over my cheeks, I let out a sigh.  
"The only things I have to remember my parents..." Dropping my hands I looked back at my reflection.  
'_The only one who I told about my parents was...Sasuke...because we both lost our family...and where the only ones left.'_  
Dropping my eyes, I looked at my chest.  
"Sasuke..." I run my hand over my scar it sat above my heart. "The only thing I have to remember the people who meant the most to me, is the scars they leave behind..." Shaking my head I got rid of all the sad thoughts and picked up my toothbrush.

Once I was finished in the bathroom, I walked back to my room and through a pair of jeans on. I didn't bother putting a shirt on as my hair was still wet. I walked down stairs to the kitchen and made myself some toast. Turning towards the fridge and got the juice out.  
"Make sure you dry your hair properly, otherwise you'll catch a cold." Looking up over the fridge door, I saw the red-head leaning in the door way with his arms crossed over his chest.  
"Morming mo mou mo." I saw him roll his eyes slightly and I closed the fridge door and pulled a cup down from the shelf.  
"Didn't Iruka ever tell you, not to talk with your mouth full?" He walked towards me and pull out myself a cup and placed it next to mine.  
"Mll ma mime." He shook his head and I noticed the small smile on his lips. Pulling the toast out of my month I poked my tongue at him and took another bite.  
"Child." I looked at him from the corner of my eye, as I poured our drinks. After handing him his cup, I put the juice back in the fridge and turned to see him downing the glass. It was one of the nervous jesters that I notice he does.  
'_Okay, so things are still confused about us, but it's not as bad as I thought it would be.'_  
I started laughing at him when he turned around to put the cup in the sink.

"You have already bad bed-hair!" I stated laughing again, when he tried to fix it without a mirror.  
"Here." I pulled out a kitchen chair and made him sit down in it. Standing in front of him, I ran my fingers through his wild red-hair, until it was sitting where it was meant to be. I ran my hands through his hair again, just a lot slower than before.  
"I like the feeling of your hair when I run my hands through it, it's so soft." Looking down I noticed that he had rosy cheeks but it wasn't from what I said, it was because without thinking I put him at perfect head height with my crouch.  
"S-Sorry...I didn't mean to do that..." Taking a step back I hit the back of my hip on the kitchen table, which made a loud bang. "Ow" I held my hip and moved away from both the table and Gaara.  
_'I can tell from this pain it's going to leave a mark.'_  
I touched it again and moved from the pain.  
"Let me have a look." Before I could say anything, he had his hands on my hips and turned me around. I felt myself turn a slightly red, but it began to grow to a deep red as his fingers lingered on my skin. Every time he moved his hands over my skin, made my heartbeat even faster and sent a tingle over my skin, giving me goose bumps. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths to calm my heart but it didn't work, if anything it made it worse because his hands was all I could think about. I swallowed hard and was surprised to feel a tingle from below that made my pants slightly tighten. grabbing his hands in mine I pulled them off me and held them either side of me, but in doing so I pulled him closer to me. I hung my head as I felt was body rise and fall on my back. Finding it even harder to breathe, I let go of his hand and turned around. I thought he would move back if he felt me move, but that wasn't the case. Looking into his green eyes, I saw that they where full of lust and confusion. I could feel my face get even warmer...if that's even possible right now. I moved my eyes to his lips and watched them part slowly. I smiled at him, which made him gently bite the top of his bottom lip and turn his face red.  
"You look so cute like that." I lifted my hand and moved has hair aside revealing his scar and kissed it lightly.  
"I hope you'll tell me about this one day..." Looking down at him I saw that his eyes were closed. Gently grabbing his hand with mine, I placed it on my scar on my chest. "And I'll tell you about my scar." Entwining my fingers in his, I closed my eyes and rested my forehead on his.  
"I haven't told anyone about it...they just know it's there. But I want to tell you, when I'm ready." Letting go of his hand it slowly fell down my body, his fingers drifted over my abs and I sucked in a sharp breath. I turned away from him, before I could no longer control myself and I headed towards the kitchen door.

"What am I to you?" I stopped at his sudden question. A smile popped on my face as I looked over my shoulder. He was standing there hugging one arm and looking at the ground.  
"What do you want to be?" He looked up at me and I smiled again.  
"What...do I...want to be?" I watched as he looked back down and thought about the question. I stood there a little longer, before I turned around and headed to my room. If I had stayed a bit longer I would have heard a quite shy voice say.  
"Your everything."

It was high noon before I saw the pink-hair girl walk across the park. Pulling out my headphones, I could help but smile when I saw her.  
"Hey Sakura! Over here" I watched as a big smiled pulled across her face as she saw me.  
"Naruto!" She ran towards me and I was met by a big hug. "It feels like I haven't seen you like years! Tell me, how did you do in training? Did you make it in? How was the team? I know there not as good as team seven..." I watched as the smile faded from her lips. Before she got a chance to say sorry, I held my hand up and smiled at her.  
"It's fine, I can talk about him now. For some reason, the 'Idiot Uchiha' does bug me." Another smile crossed my face and she gave me a caring look. "The team did really well. We did have one hick-up, but I soon resolved it and took over. And we don't find out if we made it in or not until Thursday." I smiled at her again and she raised her eyebrow at me again. "What?"  
"You seem too happy..." She looked me up and down. "There's something different about you. You look different." I looked at myself and back at her.  
"I'm only wearing a black shirt and an old pair of jeans, nothings different. Well, besides me not wearing my orange jacket."  
"Yer, that's it. You look a lot better like that. It suits you more." I smile again "There it is again!"  
"What?" I start looking around and she starts laughing at me. "What?"  
"That smile...It's been awhile since I seen it, which means...Oh My Gosh! You're totally in love with someone!"  
'_Love? Do I love him?' _  
I didn't know what to do, besides look down to try to hide the slow blush that came across my face.  
"I knew it! Who is she? Do I know her? How long have you liked her?"  
"Well, you see..." I noticed that see didn't hear me.  
"Does she have long hair or short hair? Blonde? Bennett? Red-head? Tall or short?" I just looked at her hardly blinking, as she kept on asking questions. "Short hair, Red-head and Shorter than you...by one or two inches."  
"How?" She started giggling and walked away with a hop in her step. "You have hung out with Ino for too long." She looked back over her shoulder at me and smiled again.  
"So? When am I going to meet her?" I started to walked next to her and scratched my head.  
"Well...you see..."  
_'I don't know how to tell you or how you will react...so it's kind of hard to come out and say it.'_

"I don't think that HE would like being called a SHE, especially since HE has a mean death stare." Turning to our left we both saw a silver-haired man leaning against the tree reading a 'Icha Icha' book.  
"Kakashi!" We both called out to him, except mine was in more of a 'I can't believe you said that' type of tone.  
"Wait, what do you mean? Wait! Naruto do you like a guy?" She looked at me with a confused but fan girl look on her face.  
"Not just any guy, but Gaara..." Kakashi said standing up, after putting his book in his bag he walked over to us.  
"Gaara? You mean the one who moved in with you? I haven't seen him since the first day of ANBU training!"  
_'She is way to happy for about this...'_  
I watched as those two started talking about Gaara and myself.  
"Oh, didn't Naruto tell you? Gaara will be joining us for lunch today. In fact he arrived with Naruto and is helping Iruka as we speak."  
"Really? I can't wait to see him again. I wonder how much he has changed since he has lived with Naruto?"  
"Quite a lot!" Sending a smile my way, Kakashi looked back at Sakura. "We better get back to them or they will get worried."  
As we started to walk again, Sakura could no longer contain her fan girl and wanted to know everything. She started with question after question, all which Kakashi answered for me.  
"How long have you known Kakashi?" I looked at Kakashi from behind.  
"Well, when Naruto came over this morning to Iruka's. He was acting weird and when we saw Gaara behind him, we put it all together once we saw his red face. Even though Gaara works with both Naruto and Iruka...He was introducing him to me...Just like he did with Sasuke and Iruka. That was the big hint, then Iruka got it out of him when Gaara left the room. It was all cute really." Dropping my head, I started walking slower so I couldn't hear them any more.  
_'Since they're gossiping I might as well work on my gathering information skill.'_  
Looking back and forth, I noted everything and everyone that was in the park.

We finally arrived at the spot Iruka had chosen for the picnic. I watched the Red-head set up the food once Iruka finished putting the mat down. To everyone else it would look like he was being nice or helping out because he had to, but to me, I knew he was having fun doing something he hasn't done before and I could see his small smile hiding at the corner of his mouth.  
"Stop with the lovey dovey look, Naruto." Sakura whispered in my ear, causing me to jump away from her and look down.  
"S-Shut up Sakura..." I couldn't help but smile when I looked back at him, Our eyes met and I saw him blush as he looked away. "So cute..." I hear Sakura giggle as she shakes her head.  
_'I still can't believe that she is okay with me liking guys...I'm mean, she hasn't blamed herself for 'turning' me...'_  
"Naruto Report!" At the sound of Kakashi's work voice, both Sakura and myself straightened up and stood shoulder to shoulder.  
"Sir!" We both call out.  
_'I didn't know Kakashi was watching me gathering information'_  
"There's a total of 64 people in this park. That's make up of Eight kids aged 6 months to 16-years, Twenty Nine young adults aged 17-years to 23-years, Including Gaara, Sakura and myself. Twenty One adults aged 24-years to 42-years and Six elderly people. Sir"  
"How many of those people where reading?"  
"Not including yourself, Five. Sir." He started pacing back and forth in front of Sakura and myself.  
_'He reminds me of a drill Sargent...but this isn't the army...this is being the towns body guard'_  
"Two are located at the north gate, One at the playground and Two teenagers where reading a 'Icha Icha' book together, Five tree behind us to the left." I noticed Sakura was starting to panic, as she didn't notice anything and was worried about getting asked a question. Stopping in front of Sakura, Kakashi turned towards her.  
"Who was by the lake?" I saw Sakura swallow as she looked at him.  
"There was an elderly couple with their grand-daughter, aged 7-years. They where feeding the ducks. Sir, you asked me from the report and not my comrade. Sir." Kakashi turned to me and smiled.  
"I know, but I was just testing her reactions. So Naruto tell me, How many ducks could you see.?" He put his hand on Sakura's head and messed up her hair.  
"All together there was Eighteen. Seven where in the water, Five at their feet and there was Six flying to the east."  
"Last question, How many kids where playing at the playground?" I closed my eyes and went over what I saw. Taking a deep breath, I couldn't help but smile.  
"I see what you're doing, trying to trick me. Well sorry to disappoint you Kakashi but I saw the Kid hiding in the tunnel, so all up there was Six but if you include the toddler playing in the sand behind the slide, it's seven all up."  
"And that's why they made you an ANBU member straight away. You must have had a really good teacher."  
"Ha, yer. He kicked my ass every time I got something wrong, so I learnt fast." He smiled and put his hand on my shoulder.  
"Both Iruka and myself are proud of you, Naruto." With that he walked over to Iruka and sat down next to him pulling out his book.

"Wait! Naruto, did you get into the ANBU?" She grabbed my arm and I nodded at her. "How?"  
"They told me that I showed great potential, and that the last training camp was set up so they could see how I would do as a leader. So starting Thursday I'll be team leader and have my own team...They gave me my mask and uniform yesterday." I scratched the back of my head and she wrapped her arms around me.  
"I'm so proud of you Naruto! You have grown up so much!" She then kissed me on my lips. I pulled her arms off me and then pushed her back and took two steps back.  
"Sakura...we are friends now remember...and I like someone else now..."  
"I know, I'm sorry. It's just hard for me to let go, after having you to myself for two years. It kind of hurts, knowing that you have found someone else to make you happy, the way I couldn't." She hugged herself. "It's hard to forget everything we've been through..." I watched as her tears rolled down her face.  
"Sakura..." I felt so bad just standing there watching her cry. I knew what we've been through and that just hurt more.  
"Naruto...Losing you..."  
"SAKURA ENOUGH! Sorry...you broke-up with me, so I lost you. But I've moved on...I'm giving in to my true self. Since Sasuke...I can finally be myself again Sakura, you have to be yourself too. Stop hiding behind me, we all knew what he meant to you...what he meant to both of us, but he's gone and he's never coming back..."  
"Naruto..." I looked at her and watched her grab her chest and fall to her knees. I couldn't take it anymore, dropping to my knees in front of her, I pulled her in to my chest and held her head.  
"Sakura...let out all your pain, otherwise it will hurt more and hurt everyone around you. Trust me, you don't want to go through that."  
"N-Naruto..." She held me tighter as she cried. "Why? Why did he leave us?"  
"He wanted something no one could give him, not even me..." She looked up at me and moved back. Placing her hand over my heart, she gently touched my scar.  
"Don't ever do something like that again...I cant lose you too."  
"Sakura..." I placed my hand over hers and closed my eyes. "I promise..." I moved my hand away, she got up and turned towards the panic.

"Oh, Hi..." When I turned around, I saw Gaara standing there looking down at the ground.  
"Gaara!" Standing up I sent him a smile when he looked up at me. "Sakura you remember Gaara right?" I watched Gaara look at her and he gave her a look like 'Don't touch him again' Then he looked back at me and started walking over.  
"Gaara I..."  
"N-Naruto...can I talk to you...like now, over here." Sakura then pulled me by my arm, away from Gaara. I put my hand out to Gaara but then stopped, pulling it back I turned and followed Sakura.  
"What the hell Sakura?" She was looking back over at Gaara.  
"Do you know who that is?"  
"Of cause I do. I live and work with him..."  
"No you idiot. That's Gaara...The Gaara. The one Sasuke was going on about! The one who kissed you in front of everyone. He's the reason...you and Sasuke...had that big fight in the first place. I never understood what he meant by it but I do now. Sasuke felt the same way about you, as you did for him...then he kissed you and..." Pulling my hand free from her grip, I looked back over at Gaara and remembered the kiss and the look on Sasukes face. Turning back I grabbed my shirt over my heart and started breathing heavily.

"N-No...it's not true...it can't be true..." I started to back away from her, as the pain in my chest started to grow. I started to remember Gaara and the kiss, what Sasuke was yelling about. I started to tremble, grabbing my shirt harder and lent forward. Every heartbeat sent a surge of pain through out my body, like my chest was being torn apart for the inside. I dug my nails into my skin, I wanted to get rid of this pain. I tried to call out for help, but I couldn't bring enough air into my lungs. Clutching my chest with both hands I let out a painful cry, which made the pain worse. I heard Sakura call out to Kakashi and Iruka. I could tell that she was frightened, by the sound of her voice and that she was on the verge of having a panic attack. My eyes started to water and my breaths turned into sharp, shallow rasps. I saw two dark shadows came towards me. I started to back up even further. My vision kept getting darker until I could no longer see anything anymore, the pain was too much.

"Naruto! Calm down, you're safe."  
"Naruto. We are here for you, no matter what. " The voices sounded familiar, but I couldn't put any names or faces to them.  
"N-Naruto?"  
"Sakura don't get so close to him!" The voices sounded close but when I tried to reach out to them, they kept getting further and further away. I felt sweat run down the side of my face, making my hair stick to my face.  
"He's bleeding!"  
"Kakashi! Hold him down! He can't open up the scar again." I saw something move towards me, so I took a step backwards tripping over something, I hit the floor hard. My hands where wet and warm and what ever I was doing was starting to get rid of the pain.  
"Wait...Iruka, what do you mean again? H-He's only done this once right? Right?"  
"Sakura not now okay!"  
"I want to know what happened to him. What happened to Naruto? What made him do it again? Naruto..."  
"Sakura don't cry."  
"Tell me...please."  
"It happened three weeks after he got the okay to remove his bandages from around his chest. Being the first day back to school, he wanted to bring something to class...to show Kiba. I stood watching him run around the room trying to find it..."  
"Iruka?"  
"He came across the present Sasuke left him...for his birthday..."  
"I can't believe Sasuke would leave on Naruto's birthday."  
"Kakashi..."  
"Naruto already lost his parents on that day and Sasuke new that...He was they only one Naruto trusted enough to tell him everything. Sasuke had no right to do that to Naruto..."  
"Kakashi enough, just focus on Naruto okay. We are all up set that he left, but think of what Naruto must have felt or thought...to do something like this the first time."  
"Aruka?"  
"Naruto broke it. He didn't mean to do it, he just knocked it and it fell to the floor. He just stood there looking at it, not moving. When he did finally move it was to pick some piece's up and he tried to put them back together. At first I thought he was going to cry because he was shaking so much...but that was just his rage and pain coming to the surface and joining together. I felt so helpless, all I could do was watch as he broke down. After he stopped trying to put it back together, he just sat there. At first I thought nothing of it as he calmed down, until I saw the blood dripping from his hands. panicked, I ran towards him. It took everything I had to grab the peace out of his hands. I called Kakashi after that and let him in...I was gone not even two minutes. He was sitting in front of where the photo frame broke, with a metal ruler in hand, digging at his scar while mumbling something. If Kakashi was there, I wouldn't have been able to stop him. But that was over 5 years ago, I don't understand why he is having an episode now? He was so happy that he had found someone to take 'HIS' place. So why?"

"What did you say to him?" At the sound of that voice, my eyes flew open. I was being to make out where everyone was. Kakashi was sitting over me holding my hands by my head, Iruka was standing further back with his arm around Sakura's shoulder. I saw red move from the back towards Sakura. The longer I looked, the more I could tell it was...  
"Gaara? What do you mean?" I saw Iruka's stand in front of Sakura, blocking her from Gaara. Aruka and Kakashi had always been curious around Gaara, but they never told me why.  
"She said something to him, which made this happen." He pointed over at me "I'll ask again. What did you say?" I tried to call out to Gaara but it was no use, my throat hurts too much to make a sound.  
"I-I...He told me gotten over Sasuke, I didn't think bring up something would cause him to..."  
"Sakura, what did you tell Naruto? You of all people should know that Naruto hides everything behind a brave face. He never shows his true feelings." Iruka turned towards Sakura and she just looked down.  
"What did you say!?"  
"I told him, I remembered who you are...where I saw you for the first time...That's all!"  
"obviously that's not all! Look at him!" I tried to sit up but Kakashi was still on top of me, unaware that I could tell what was going on. The pain is still there but I'm fighting for control over my body.  
'_Sakura No! Don't tell him! He will take it out on himself...'_  
"I didn't think what I said would do this..." She looked over at me and we locked eyes. I shock my head but she just looked away. I could see the tears roll down her face, she's scared.  
"What did you say?" Gaara got hold of her arm and made her look at him. Aruka just stood back, knowing that Sakura was the cause for this, he didn't know how to act.  
"I said, that you...you where the one who..."  
"NO!" I yelled out, pain shot through my body again. Catching Kakashi off guard, I throw him off me and sat up.  
"Sakura...don't...tell...him..." Fighting the pain I used the tree to help me up. No one knew what to do, as they all just stood there staring. Once I was standing, I continued to lean on the tree. I held my chest and closed my eyes.  
_'Pain go away! I know you aren't real, you're only in my head. So stop! I just want to move on.'_  
Taking a deep breath, I slowly opened my eye and looked at the red-head. I smiled at him, but then dropped my head as the pain came over me again, almost forcing my to the ground.  
"N-Naruto..." I looked up at Sakura and she was holding her hands over her chest, shaking. Gaara had let go of her arm but left a purple mark behind.  
"Promise me...Sakura...that you will never tell anyone...what you told me. I could stand losing anyone else, because of Sasuke..." His name burnt the back of my throat.  
"N-Naruto..."  
"Promise Me!"  
"Okay! I wont tell. But will you be alright? Now that you know?" I looked at Gaara then at the floor and took a deep breath. Smiling I looked back up at everyone.  
"I'll find away, I always do. I'm a fighter right?" I lifted my head to the sky and felt tears run down my cheeks and over my chin. Pushing myself off the tree, I turned and faced it.  
"Why can't I get over that 'Stupid Uchiha'?" I hit the tree and heard Sakura squeak. I punched the tree again and heard someone come close to me.  
"Let me..." Looking over my shoulder I saw Kakashi standing there. "If I don't do this, I'll hurt myself...or even worse...hurt one of you." He gave me a sad look as he nodded his head. I watched him back up, I turned back to the tree. I rested my head on it and looked at where I punched, blood lingered on the tree.  
'_Blood, the colour of Gaara's hair. He's the one I want to be with now...so why?'_  
"Why?" Hitting the tree again, I watched as the blood from my hands dripped down the tree. "No matter how hard I try, he's all that I think about! All this is because I can't get over him." I repeatedly punched the tree, leaving more and more blood behind.  
"I don't want to feel like this anymore. I don't want to have this mental block, I want to move on with my life! I want to be happy! Why Sasuke? Why are you holding me back?" I kept hitting the tree until I had no more tears and the pain in my chest shifted to my hands. I lent against the tree again, breathing heavily I raised my hands and held them out in front of me. Watching the blood run down my hands, I balled then into fists. Without warning, I shoved my hands in my pockets and started to walking away from everyone. I could hear everyone calling out to me trying to get my to stop, but I just kept on walking. I wasn't walking very fast as I had a light head, but no one seemed to come after me either.  
"Naruto! At least let me take care of your chest and hands!" Without stopping, I lifting my hands out of my pockets, I looked at them. shrugging I just put them back in.

"Naruto..." It was like the wind called my name and forced me to stop. I waited for the voice to come again but it never did. Lowering my head, I started walking again. "Naruto I..." Turning around I looked at Gaara and watched as he faced the ground again. Letting out a sigh I walked over to him, stopping when we where shoulder to shoulder. From the corner of my eye I could see him looking at me, before he got a chance to talk again I spoke.  
"Maybe not now...but someday soon, very soon. I'll be able to return the feelings you have for me. I want to have those type of feelings. You will just have to wait for me..."  
"I've waited 5 years..."  
"I know...I kind of read your journal...sorry. I didn't mean to, I saw my name and curiosity got the better of me. Sorry again." I turned to face him.  
"I'll wait for you..." My eyes widen at his sudden words. I thought he was going to be mad at me. A soft smile filled my lips.  
"Thank you Gaara, I hope one day...I can be your everything." I moved my hand behind his head, I pulled him close to me and he threw his arms around me. It's the first time he has hugged me or even touched me this much. Kissing his scar I whispered "So cute." I held him in my arms, before dropping one of my hands and entwining it in his. I squeezed his hand and he squeezed back. Turning away, I looked at everyone and then back at him.  
"I'm going away for a couple of days, I just need to been alone and think about everything...again."  
"Why Naruto? We are all here for you. We can help!" Sakura came over and stood in front of me. She grabbed my hand and Gaara growled at her. I could see the tears forming in her eyes. Letting out a sigh I pulled her into a hug with one arm.  
"I just don't want to see anyone get hurt by me, mentally or physically. Sorry but I have to go." Removing her from around me, I looked over at Iruka and Kakashi.  
"Just make sure your back before Thursday, don't want to be late meeting your first team." Kakashi placed his hand on my shoulder and I smiled at him.  
"Be careful Naruto. Just remember you're not alone, in any of this."  
"Thank you Iruka. For everything you have done for me. And thank you Kakashi, for everything you have thought me." Kakashi let go of my shoulder and walked back to Iruka and held his hand. I watched Iruka's face turn pink and I smiled. Turning towards Gaara, I kissed his hand before letting go of it and walked away.


	5. Chapter 5

The first two-days just flew by. I have stayed at the hidden waterfall since Sunday afternoon. I have gone over all my memories I had here. But in saying that, lately I have only thought about that day when I first met 'Him'. The way his skin felt on mine, that feeling I got when we touch and when he was about to kiss me. I haven't told anyone about this place, even though Sasuke isn't here now I still keep the promise we made. I don't want to share it with anyone else. Taking a deep breath in, I closed my eyes and listened to the noise around me. The birds where singing, the winds making the grass and trees dance, there was a light buzz from the waterfall, nothing felt out-of-place. It wasn't long before I realised, I wasn't alone anymore. Opening my eyes I saw a bird sitting in front of me, it tilted it's head to get a better look at me.  
"Do you come here to relax as well?" I smiled to myself "It's beautiful isn't it?" I took out my art book and a pencil and started to draw the bird. Back when Sasuke first left, we were told that team seven was getting a new member, Sai. It took a long time, but we soon became friends and we made a deal. I teach him how to interact with people and he would show me how to draw.

The bird had two different types of green on its body, and one or two blue feathers on its wings. It's head was all black, and the eyes were black little buttons.  
"I read about you, Hooded Pinta, I think you're called. By the looks I'd say your female, but what are you doing here?" The bird looked me up and down then came closer, slowly I reached out my hand. It looked at my hand, slowly it started hopping closer. It was only centimetres away from my hand, when the bird took off flying. Closing my book I put it on the ground and stood up. I started to walk around in the tree, just for something to do.  
"If I remember correctly...There!" I ran over to the tree and ran my fingers at the words carved into it.

'Naruto Uzumaki + Sasuke Uchiha  
Friends till the end'

"I thought it was you I saw running through here." His voice was strong and I could tell that it was him, Mystery Man. Turning around I looked into his eyes.  
"H-Hey" I found it hard for me to talk. Turning back around I ran my finger over the Uchiha's name. Whispering my good-bye to the Uchiha, I turned back around I started to walk back over where I have stayed for the last couple of days.  
"Me must have meant a lot to you, if he makes you cry just by seeing his name." I stiffened as I raised my hand to my cheek.  
_He's right...I'm crying...I couldn't even tell I was crying._  
I stopped and heard him let out a sigh.  
"The truth is...I wanted to see you too. Every time I saw you here, I couldn't bring myself to talk to you. So I kept my distance, It was hard. Hell I have even found myself standing out front of your place...I feel like I'm some kind of stalker..." I was confused at what he was saying, turning I looked at him. He was standing in front of the tree which had the names on it. He looked over at me and smiled.  
"Ever since I saw you again, I have this feeling inside me which I can't control...You probably think I'm crazy or something...it's been so long...things have changed." He looked away but I could see his cheeks turn slightly red. After a while of silence he started to move towards me. "This feeling...it's like butterflies and it's hard to breath..."

Now standing in front of me, I looked up at him even though he wasn't that much taller than me. Our eyes locked, as we stood there only inches from each other. I could feel the warmth coming off his body.  
"Take my hand" Holding out his hand, he smiled "I want to show you something, that you will never forget!" Without thinking or missing a heartbeat, I placed my hand in his and I felt the same spark as last time. Closing my eyes, I felt the air around me turned warm.  
_I can feel the energy running through me. I don't want to let go...but the feeling has now disappeared, Why?_

Opening my eyes, I realised I was no longer standing by the tree, I was standing alone. The endless colours of flowers that lead to the trees in the distance was far unremarkable. I walked through the meadow, running my hands through the knee-high grass as I passed. I was examining the mountains in the distance, when his warm hand found mine. I looked down at my hand and up his arm, a smile formed on my face, as he pulled me into a run.  
_He was right, I'll never forget this. This feeling of freedom, I can feel it running through my as I run with him, hand in hand. _  
He turned back, looking over his shoulder at me. His smile said it all, we where both enjoying ourselves.  
_This is where we both belong...Together!_

Slowly coming to a stop, we where near the river bank. I dropped down to the floor and started to catch my breath. Hanging my head in-between my knees, he sits besides me and draws in a deep breath releasing it slowly.  
"This is amazing! Thank you...Ummm" I turned my face towards him, but the look in his eyes cut off my voice before I could ask what his name was. He started leaning towards me like he did on the bridge, but this time he didn't stop. Placing his hand around the back of my neck so I couldn't pull away, he brought his face even closer and kissed me. The kiss itself took what ever breath I had, away. My heart jumped out of my chest, he moved his other hand to my shoulders and pulled me into him deepening the kiss. I could feel that he was shaking.  
_Is he nervous?_

When the kiss ended, he looked down. Dropping his arms, he moved back to where he was sitting before but there was more room between us this time. He then laid down and look up at the sky.  
"Sorry...I..."  
"I-It's fine...you just surprised me that's all...I have only ever kissed three other people...one of them being my ex..." I could see that I wasn't they only one who was blushing.  
_So...does that mean he enjoyed the kiss? He had too...I mean he was the one who kissed me...That's how it works...right?_

"To be honest. I only kissed one person before, a long time ago...it's just...I don't know...I couldn't control myself...I guess?"  
"...I would like to say that was my first kiss with another male...but I would be lying. I've kissed two others...but I wouldn't really count one as a kiss, as it kind of failed." I looked at him and he turned to face me. "I really wanted you to kiss me the first day we met...I don't know why though." I turned away and looked out over the water. He was quite for a while but then he spoke again.  
"Who was other guy you kissed...I mean...Did you enjoy it?"  
"I was mostly confused. At first I was going to kiss him...for some reason I was drawn to looking at his lips. But I stopped myself and in doing so, and in doing so...I think I hurt his feelings..."  
"What do you mean?"  
"There has been a certain look, of pain and confusion mixed together. That reminds me about the one who meant a lot to me...It took me years to get back to my old self and to hang out with my friends again. When I thought I was okay enough to finally move on, I asked out the girl I had been crushing on since the first day I met her. She was the second person I ever kissed but it never did feel right. After two-years...on the day she dumped me and we met...she had that same look. He also had the same look on his face when I pulled away...and I couldn't take it any more, I had to make that face go away...no matter what."  
"So you didn't mean to kiss him? You only kissed him to stop that look?"  
"That's what I thought, but it turns out I enjoyed kissing him..."  
"Him?"  
"Gaara" From the corner of my eye, I saw him ball up his fists in the grass. "We are living together..."  
"What! Already? After one kiss?"  
"No! We have been living together for just over 3 years now. We go to the same Academy and it took him over two hours to get to and from his house to class. So I asked if he wanted to move in. Living in a 3 bedroom place all by yourself is really lonely, so really it was a win win for both of us."

I laid down next to him and looked up at the sky. I let out a heavy sigh and closed my eyes.  
"Tell me about the person who first gave you that look...maybe I can help."  
"He was one of my friends..."  
"He?" I nodded and let out another sigh.  
"The one I keep talking about, he meant a lot to me...more then I ever let on or showed. I said some things to him...bad things...but I ruined everything we worked hard on when I..." I sat back up and hugged my knees, I rested my head on my knees and before I knew it I was crying, like a little girl. I felt him sit up and watch me.  
"I'm sorry...it's just...I thought I was finally over him, that I could talk about it...but...but I can't. I just want to see him. I didn't think one person could mean so much to me. It felt like my heart was being torn out of my chest..."  
"Is that why you have scar over your chest?" I nodded my head.  
"I tried to stop the pain by making pain, it was the only thing that worked. Why did he have to go? He could have stayed with me...Iruka had plenty of room for him. Why does he make me feel this way?"  
"Do you love him?" I sucked in a sharp breath and moved my head till I could see him. I blinked and the tears fell even harder.  
"Yes..." I got up and walked over to the closet tree and started punching it and yelling. "YES! I FUCKEN LOVE HIM! MORE THEN ANYTHING!" I hit the tree harder. "Why? Why did he have to leave me? Why did he have to take my heart with him? Stupid! YOU STUPID UCHIHA! WHY DID I HAVE TO FEEL IN LOVE WITH YOU!?" I stopped punching the tree and slid down it. Resting my back on the tree, I hang my bloody knuckles over my knees and looked at the sky.  
"I'd give anything...ANYTHING...to see him again."

He walked over to me and grabbed my chin and pulled me in to a kiss. When we broke the kiss, I notice that he had tears rolling down his face. I was confused.  
_Why is he crying?_  
"You're as dump as ever Naruto Uzumaki!" He kissed me again but I pushed him away.  
"How?..." He pulled me back into him and our lips meet again.  
"You idiot! You really can't remember what I look like after 5 years?" I was met by another deeper kiss.  
"Who?..." He wasn't going to let me talk but I didn't try to fight off the kisses either. I could feel his tears on my face, mixing with mine.  
"Idiot! I'm the 'Stupid Uchiha' You couldn't forget. The one who you told that you Loved him on the day he was leaving. The one who was mad, because he didn't get to say that they loved the you first. The one who saved up for 5 years to come just to see you. That same Sasuke Uchiha that is here in front of you, kissing you..." I looked at him with wide eyes, the longer I looked at him the more I realised it was really him. "That same 'Stupid Uchiha' who cried himself to sleep for 8 months, cause he never got the chance to tell the 'Idiot Uzumaki' that he felt the same way."  
"Wait! You mean?" I stood up and looked down on him. I watched as he stood up and walked closer to me.  
"I Love You, Naruto Uzumaki" He pulled my in for another kiss by the shirt, without thinking I through my arms around his neck.

"W-what are you doing? Ah!" I gasped slightly as I felt something wet and warm slide across the shell of my ear, strong hands moved from my chest to my waist.  
"Come on Naruto" Came a warm soft whisper to my ear "I know you want it."  
"S-Stop..." I whispered back, I heard a soft chuckle before teeth sunk subtly into my earlobe, a soft moan exited my mouth.  
_Truthfully, I do want this. _

My chest kept rising and falling fast, his lips turned into a smile as he moved himself closer. His big hand reached down and rubbed my crouch, jumping away from him, I looked at him in shock. He pushed me against the tree. Looking up from the pain in my back, I saw his face only centimetre's from mine, his dark eyes staring at me. I can feel my heart beat through my erection, which hurt as it pressed against my jeans.  
"But why? I know you're enjoying this..." Sasuke's voice was full of lust "I can feel it, you know...don't bother hiding it." As I was about to ask what he was going on about, but I instantly knew. I let out a quiet moan of his name, from the pressure being put on my lower half. But not any pressure, rolling pressure. Sasuke was grinding his hips slowly against mine, I instantly grew harder. Biting my lip, I attempted to hold back the moans that started to leave. I have never been a silent lover.

Opening my eyes, I could see he had a triumphant smirk and he quickly pressed his lips against mine, as a result of that happening sparks jumped through my body. He kept rolling his hips on my crouch. His fingers curling on my waist digging his nails into my skin through my thin shirt. Moaning gently, I eventually cracked, returning the action with my hips. I felt his lips part slightly and he nibbled my bottom lip. He pushed his warm wet tongue gently into my mouth. A small moan came from the back of my throat as his tongue flicked against mine, moving my hands up to his shoulder I wrapping them around his neck and moved in closer. Our hips moved harder against one another's, pleasure skyrocketing through our bodies as the sweet sensation and dirty thoughts over took our senses. Sasuke moved his hands up my shirt, gliding his hand over my skin, eagerly roamed them upwards towards my nipples. We where both panting for air but neither of us wanted to stop. My hand ran through his hair, tangling my fingers in it. Sasuke twisted and rolled my nipple between his fingers, which caused me to moan his name out loud.  
_WAIT! WHAT AM I DOING? I LIKE GAARA NOW! I CAN'T DO THIS TO HIM..._

Pushing Sasuke away as hard as I can, he fell to the floor. Looking at him, I can see the confused look on his face.  
"I'm sorry, I can't do this!"  
"You're stronger than you look, but I can't take no for an answer. Not after I have waited so long to see you again. To feel your touch." He got up and started walking towards me again. I didn't move I just watched him.  
"S-Sasuke..." His lips met mine again. I lost all thought, at his touch. He broke the kiss and just held me in his arms.  
"I'm sorry Naruto...for everything. I didn't mean to do hurt you so much...I was being selfish. I realised that and came back as soon as I could. I want to be with you Naruto, I've always wanted to be with you." He pulled away from me and started walking off, he stopped before I was out of ear shot. "I love you Naruto." I watched him take another step. I felt a tear run down my face. I ran towards him and held him from behind.  
"I love you too, you stupid Uchiha" I fell down his body and landed on my knees. My tears hit the dirt in front of me.  
"But you also love him don't you?" I looked up at him.  
"S-Sasuke..."  
"I understand. I was gone for a long time. I expected you to have feeling for someone else...I just didn't expect him...the one who started all this mess between us."  
"What Sakura said was true...it was because he kissed me..." He turned and faced me, I just looked up at him. "I want you...but I also want him..." I looked down at the floor again.  
"Naruto..." The way he said my name, made the tears fall faster.  
"I thought I would never see you again. Sasuke..." I grab my chest. The pain shot through my chest again, but it wasn't like all the other. "Please...don't leave me again...I wont be able to take it again." He bent down next to me and grabbed my hand and placed it on his chest.  
"Naruto listen to me. I will always love you. But you have to choose...Me or Him?" I looked at him but I looked away just as easily.  
"I don't want to choose. I just want to be happy..."

"Here." He helped me up and walked me over to the water. "Wash your face off." I did as I was told. I walked back to my bag and sat down under the tree. Sasuke sat next to me.  
"Is this yours?" I nodded after I saw he was looking at my art book.  
"Sai thought me." My voice as a whisper. I couldn't wrap my head around everything.  
"Sai?"

_Over the last two weeks, I have been dumped by the girl I had a major crush on. Kissed Gaara and learnt that he had feelings for me and I had feelings for him. Met a random, who turned out to be Sasuke and made out with him. And know I'm sitting next to him thinking...trying to pick which one I want more. I can't do that. They both need me. I only just got Gaara to open up to me and he has started opening up to everyone else. And Sasuke...Sasuke came back for me. He told me he loved me and I love him...but I also love Gaara. I don't know what to do. I feel so insecure. I'm scared. I don't want to lose either of them but I don't want to choose between them. _

I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my head on them.  
"...S-Sasuke...or...G-Gaara..." I held myself closer as the tears kept following.

By the time I opened my eyes, it was dark. There was a fire in front of me, the smell of freshly cooked fish filled my nose. As I sat up, a fish on a stick was held up in front of my face.  
"Do you always sleep so recklessly?" Taking the fish from his hands, I looked at him. I gentle smile pulled at his lips.  
"I don't think I have slept through a whole night. Ever since I could remember, I have been like this." I looked at the fish, before bring it to my mouth. Before I knew it, I ate five of the fish Sasuke cooked.  
"It's a good thing I guessed at your eating habits haven't changed. Do you still eat at Ichiraku Ramen?"  
"Not since I was studying under him. He does come around to the shop, now and then...to make sure I'm still doing everything right. He doesn't own the shop any more, his daughter Ayame took over the business. I don't think it taste the same any more, but I still go around to say hi."  
"You studied under him? What shop?"  
"I studied under him for a year, when I heard he was handing over the shop. And when I made my own dish, Iruka tasted it and he made me his head chef at his shop, Nine Tails."  
"Maybe I should go by one day and try it for myself." I smiled at the thought. "I've missed seeing you smile." I looked at him and blushed. He reached out and touched my cheek. He dropped his hand again and laid down and looked up at the sky.  
"I would like to cook for you one day." I laid down next to him.  
"When are you working next?"  
"Well I have to go back home tonight because I have to meet my team tomorrow..."  
"Team?" He looked at me and I smiled.  
"I got expected into the ANBU's and I will be meeting my team tomorrow, so this will be the last night I'm here."  
"Wow. The Idiot has grown up. So...we wont see each other again for a while then?"  
"You can walk home with me if you want...since we live so close and all..."  
"Sure, why not. But later." We laid there, looking at the stars. I placed my hand on his and he entwined his fingers in mine. "I am truly sorry for everything, Naruto." I held his hand tighter as I saw a shooting star.

"So, when will you be telling everyone your back?" We where on our way back to my place, still holding hands. There was hardly any one out tonight, as we walked the streets of Konoha.  
"I was thinking about dropping by the Academy and seeing about taking the test. I mean since the whole town will be there, I don't see a better way of saying I'm back."  
"I'm just warning you now, Sakura is a rugger."  
"Rugger?"  
"A person who runs up, jumps and then hugs you. She knocked me over once or twice, when she caught me off guard."  
"Oh...right you dated her. You really think she will hug me?" I shrugged my shoulders.  
"If not Ino will."  
"I'm kind of sacred to see every one again...seeing that it's been 5 years."  
"So seeing me wasn't that hard?"  
"I was so scared of seeing you, that I went to the waterfall...and ended at up seeing you away but you didn't remember me..." I stopped and he looked at me and then to where I was looking.  
"Gaara..." The red-head was on the front step to our house, waiting for me to come home. He looked from me, to Sasuke and then to our hands. He started backing up. "Gaara wait..." He turned around and run inside the house and slammed the door. I touched my chest and Sasuke let go of my hand.  
"Go." I looked at him and he smiled. "It's fine. Go. I'll see you tomorrow, Idiot." With that he messed up my hair and then walked off. I just stood there as I watched him walk into the darkness.

"Gaara or Sasuke?" My voice was shaky, but then I realised I was the one shaking. I held my chest and dropped to me knees. "No!" The pain shot through my body like no tomorrow. It was twice as painful this time and now my chest is really being torn in two. It was getting hard to breath, so I took of my shirt and laid down on the path. I let out a scream of pain and held my chest with both hands. I rolled on to my side and pulled myself into a ball.  
_Not again! Pain go away!_ _leave me alone!_  
I let out another cry of pain, and smashed my fits into the concrete. Hands came out of no where and held me.  
"N-Naruto...is this because of him?" I couldn't stop the pain, it was too much. I punched the ground again. "Don't..."  
"My head...it's spinning..." The last thing I remember is seeing Green eyes looking at me.


End file.
